Thursday, August 6, 2009

"It's milkin' time"

I know, I know...Elvira Mistress of the Dark isn't exactly 'horror' but I had to sneak it in! I love it!! Filmed in 1988 with Cassandra Peterson as her incredibly awesome alter-ego Elvira and Edie McClurg as Chastity Pariah who is also the crazy neighbor in Dicky Roberts: Former Child Star and the girl with huge glasses in Carrie.

Mistress of the Dark starts off with Elvira hosting an old and awful horror flick on a local television station, when the show is over she meets the new owner of the station, who is only after sex (but who's not from Elvira?). Elvia quits her job at the station and finds out her Great Aunt Morgana Talbot has passed away and left something to Elvira. She drives to the town of Fallwell to find her Aunt has left her a house, a dog and a recipe book. Elvira also meets her Great Uncle Vincent Talbot who is only after the recipe book.

Elvira stays in Fallwell for a while and most of the townspeople are not happy. Elvira is told the bowling alley is the place to go in town, when she arrives she is greated by two disgusting and perverted jerks who she pours beer on and is helped by Bob Redding. Elvira immediately has an interest in Bob who runs the local movie theater. The kids in the town bring supplies and paint and help Elvira fix up Morgana's house. She then hosts a midnight show at Bob's theater with the kids in town where Patty, a woman who thinks she is Bob's girlfriend, pours tar and feathers on Elvira.

Back at Morgana's Elvira makes a casserole that turns into a monster from the recipe book for her and Bob and decides to use this recipe to get back at the townspeople at a picnic they are all having. Instead of a monster the casserole the town eats turns into some sort of love potion and everyone crawls all over one another for attention. Vincent, Elvira's uncle, tells everyone that she was a witch and put a spell on them and should be burnt at the stake. Elvira learns about the ring she wears on her finger is magical and saves herself from the riot and bonfire she finds herself infront of. Elvira wins the battle with her uncle thanks to her Aunt's dog 'Gonk'.

Elvira gets a show in Las Vegas that she has been trying to land. We all love a spider lady with boob tassles? Oh, and who knew she could rap?

I love this movie with its rediculous jokes and puns. It's the best with breast, a huge black wig, a shapeshifting dog and a town that thinks they rule the world! If you haven't seen it you need to, if you have and don't love it something is wrong with you! Check it out!
"Unpleasant Dreams!"

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