Sunday, July 19, 2009

"We can't bury Shelly - S-She's a friend of ours. "

Evil Dead (1981)

Who doesn't love cabins in the middle of nowhere, being raped by trees and dismembered by a skeleton sword? I know I do!

This one is about 5 young adults, Scotty, Ash, Linda, Shelly and Cheryl, who decide to take a vacation at a cabin in the middle of nowhere. The bridge they cross over on the way all but collapses while they are crossing it. Once they settle down in the cabin they hear something in the basement and obviously have to check it out. The cellar contains the book of the dead, a tape recorder with some kind of demonic recitation and a sword that has a skull figure at the handle. The playing of this recorder wakes some demon-spirits up. Cheryl hears a noise and decides to venture into the woods where she is raped by a tree, when she gets loose she runs back to the cabin. Ash (her brother) decides he will drive her to town to stay somehwere else but alas, the bridge has completely collapsed by now. Cheryl completely freaks out back at the cabin becoming possessed which leads to her being locked in the cellar.

"Soon all of you will be like me... And then who will lock you up in a cellar? "

Soon after Shelly is possessed, she attacks Scotty. First, she is thrown into the fire, Scotty for unknown reasons drags her out and she is after him again. Finally, Scotty grabs an axe that Ash was holding and completely dismembers her and buries her. Next, is Linda who is resting in another room after being stabbed with a pencil by Cheryl. Ash goes into check on her and she of course is possessed. Scotty leaves to find another way back to town but soon after returns beat the fuck up by trees. Linda attacks Ash and he kills her, in a roundabout way and buries her as well, she returns and Ash decapitates her with his shovel. Ash returns to the house to find Scotty's body missing and Cheryl out of the cellar. Of course, he is attacked by both, eventually the book of the dead finds its way to fire and the two begin to morph into nasty bloody puddles of oozing goodness. When Ash walks out of the cabin it is morning, he heads for the car only to have 'something' coming up from behind.

Best line in the movie, one that I'll remember forever: "We can't bury Shelly - S-She's a friend of ours. " Ash's reasoning is rock-solid. And the time I didn't spend laughing at this movie was spent gagging. For example, probably one of the best scenes of gore in all of horror-dom is the eye-gouge scene complete with milky pus-blood followed immediately by a mountain spring of watery blood coming from Scotty's leg.

I have to admit Evil Dead is an amazing wickedly awesome movie! The setting is perfect, the acting is great and Sam Raimi is awesome for writing this shit!! Ash is played by Bruce Campbell who has had some remotely mentionable roles in movies such as Spider-man and The Majestic.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Pittsburgh Zombie Walk!

On Saturday July 18th, 2009 the It's Alive Show based in Pittsburgh, PA will host the Third Annual South Side Zombie Walk. There will also be the Concert for the Living Dead which will include live filming of It's Alive! Zombies will meet between 7 and 8 pm at Town Tavern 2009 East Carson St. Professor Emcee Square will begin the walk at 8 pm and the concert will begin at 9 pm at the Rex Theater.

Here be the link to check out more details:

And if you won't be making it to the Pittsburgh area on the 18th make sure you check out the show streaming live at 10 pm EDT here:

So, get over there and check it out!

"They're coming for you, Barbara!" (Night of the Living Dead 1968)

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

John Carpenter's The Thing (1982)

Hail to the fucking incredibly awesome shape-shifting aliens that take over science bases in Antarctica. This movie is truly one of the scariest movies I have seen. This horror classic takes place in Antarctica at a research lab/camp sort of compound. The antagonist in this movie is called a thing because it has the capability to... ingest people and animals and then fully imitate and basically become them. So the whole movie is basically whodunit... rather a whoisit to find out who the thing really is. Watching this movie you'll be constantly trying to figure out who it really is and there's even a point in which you might think Kurt Russel's character 'Mac' is the thing. This movie is way, way too good to give away all the good parts. However, I will say that my favorite scene involves a spidery sort of incarnation of the thing followed by the phrase that anyone watching the movie must be thinking. "You've got to be fucking kidding me". I'd watched this movie once before many years ago and spider-thing was the one thing that stuck out in my mind. It's the caliber of gore that would give some people nightmares. With this movies incredible goodness, John Carpenter we salute you!

Monday, July 13, 2009

Pencils down kidds...

So we watched Eraserhead (1977) by David Lynch, last night and wow! This movie is nothing short of bizarre. Henry Spencer played by Jack Nance, Henry lives in a pretty weird industrial setting. When Henry gets his girlfriend Mary X pregnant, her mother insists they get married. The baby is a mutant wrapped in gauze that somewhat resembles E.T. Henry has some pretty fucked up dreams with a blowfish woman who sings 'In Heaven'. For me the most bizarre part of the movie was a dream Henry had in which his head flew off and the mutated face of his baby came up through his neck and his head landed on the cement below. A child runs by and picks up the head (as if this is a normal occurence) takes it to a factory where his brain is drilled into and turned into....did you guess it...eraser heads... In the end Henry attempts to cut the baby out of the gauze and finds its organs out in the open now. He stabs the organs with the scissors and and oatmeal like pourage comes pourring out of the mutation, Henry runs to a corner and tries to starre away. The only interpretation I can come up with for the ending is that Henry dies and is united with the blowfish woman who sang for him before while bright lights flash.

This movie is the most abstract and disturbing view on becoming a husband and father in the same day I could imagine. The entire movie is has so much to interpret that you could take away a different view of it everytime.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Walled In (2009)

Hey kids, here's our take on this movie. It starts out with Mischa Barton as a newly-graduated engineering student. As a gift, her father offers her the chance to supervise her first demolition job on a large apartment building placed strangely in what seems to be the middle of nowhere. On her first visit to the future demolition site, she encounters a rather strange group of individuals who are still occupying the building. Soon she learns more about the building, it's eccentric architect and the murders that happened there fifteen years ago. (This is where the walled-in part comes in... it seems that victims found themselves in a narrow chamber and right as they woke up, they were buried alive in concrete.) We'll let you decide if you want to experience this film on your own or have us ruin all the fun for you...

We can say this much for now, this bizarre film is less than terrifying and does not deliver much gore either. All in all, a pretty disappointing 'horror' movie, but that's not too surprising. This movie is based on a book and the last time I checked, the only author that crosses over even remotely well to live action is Stephen King. Anyone disagree?

Friday, July 10, 2009


This is Jordy and Eva and we love horror films. We look forward to documenting our adventure through the good, bad and ugly parts of the horror genre with you.