Hellementary

Alright, Hellementary is awful at it's best. The whole movie there are kids that broke into an old school where people were killed 19 years ago and what do they do...spread out. Seriously that's a great idea right?! One by one they're killed and a ghost appears to Sarah and tells her she's 'the key' which really means she has a key on a necklace her mother found when she was born and died after having her. It's lame seriously and the only thing remotely scary or interesting was the old school teacher with spiked teeth, a long black trench coat and a huge amish looking scary hat.


Check it out....or don't your choice!

-E

FAIL: The source

I sat down to watch some 'Back to Ghoul' week on Chiller and The Source was on.

The beginning was pretty upsetting, very badly dialogued, just kids who get pushed around I guess. So Reese just started at a new school and the kids think he's a joke cause he wears all black and eyeliner...then there's Phoebe she doesn't seem anything different except all the douche bags at this school are preps...well all but these four. Zack comes into the picture when he sticks up for Reese who is about to get his ass beat in the locker room for not taking anybodies shit. After school Phoebe and Zack are heading to a 'secret spot' and take Reese with them. This spot they say holds some kind of vortex with powers that they haven't found. Ashley joins the group, she's Zack's sister, and she's a bitch. YAY Reese found rocks that glow when he tried to go piss on a tree. Somehow Zack does some crazy shit with a laptop, wire and mirrors or glass and when they step on the rocks they get a sort of charge which renders them powers. So the four each have a different power and they go back to school and decide they're going to go all Carrie on everyone, without the killing part.

Don't get me wrong I started to dig this one right around the middle. They were getting to read minds and tell people what to do and then....Ashley thinks she's 'a god', she's all out of control and has a little group of followers who do what she tells them. The group tries to get her to knock it off after she has her lackeys kill the principal.

The movie quickly goes lame again when she starts having people do stupid shit like stay in school and let her hit them with dodge balls while she screams 'detention' in a high pitched make you cringe kinda yell. Reese is finally the only one whose powers are the strongest and is able to stop her and surprise everyone is fine. At the end she's in an institution and one of her teachers still under her power brings her a piece of the rocks that glow and her eyes turn blue..that's it peace out.

Other than everything being some kind of neon and nothing in the movie actually being scary, creepy or even interesting it is a pretty good plot just not so awesomely played out. So if you have Chiller check it out it's remotely entertaining.

Hopefully I'll get to watch Hellementary tomorrow.

-E

Rocky Horror I love you!

I almost began to think my love for Rocky Horror was dying...I haven't seen it in a theater in like 5 years and it was killing me. It's incredible to be surrounded by "Virgins" who have to strip down and stand in a long line to hump each other and run around the theater in underwear. The kidds who get to go in and act out scenes are incredible and you get to throw shit and everyone knows all the lines. It's a fucking good time! So when I found this gorgeous piece of hard candy that I HAD TO HAVE as soon as I saw it I knew my love was still alive!

Once I got it home I couldn't take my eyes off of it, of course I couldn't take anymore of a Rocky Horror break I needed to see it and set it to repeat in my bedroom for an entire day. Once I had my fix for a little while I had an itch to see Tim Curry so I watched Clue and Home Alone 2 as well. I need a theater to pop my 5 year cherry, someone find me one please!!

-E